On a cross-country vacation with their parents, twins Coke and Pepsi, soon to be thirteen, fend off strange assassins as they try to come to terms with their being part of a top-secret government organization known as The Genius Files.

"The wackiest road trip in history continues as the McDonald twins travel the Southwest dodging nefarious villains and visiting weird but true American landmarks"--

"A. J. and his friends from Ella Mentry School are in for a weird Christmas surprise when they head to the local mall to see Santa Claus"--

Once the twins get their feet back on the ground, they embark on the final leg of their trip, which will take them from the Hoover Dam all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge. Chased by nefarious villains, the twins will be trapped with a venomous snake, pushed through a deadly turbine, and thrown into a volcano. And craziest of all, their parents might finally believe them!

"It's time for the annual Ella Mentry School talent show, and this year Principal Klutz has hired a wacky professional, Mrs. Lane, to help the kids with their talents"--

With the peculiar Mrs. Kormel at the wheel, anything could happen on the bus ride to Ella Mentry School, as A.J. and his friends find out on the day they have to go out of their way to pick up "the nude kid."

Mrs. Cooney, the school nurse, is so beautiful that A.J. has a crush on her--even though he suspects she might be an international spy!

Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports

A.J. and his friends get a Personal Digital Assistant named Miss Porter as a substitute teacher, who can order pizza and tell endless jokes, but grows power-hungry when her system is changed and tries to take over Ella Mentary School.

Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.